Choosing a pub near you is a red flag? have a grip

A guy on TikTok says picking a pub near you for a date is ‘inconsiderate’ – at this point no one can win

Everyone has their own rules for dating. Everyone has their own ticks, their own ticks, and their own little reasons for calling off something with someone. This is more important than ever in today’s climate, in which most of us go out virtually at first – deciding who we want to spend a few hours over a beer with based on a few photos of them at their best and more accessible and whether they can string together a sentence on a dating app. For me, if you look good, can make me laugh, and don’t communicate with gifs that make me feel like I’m talking to a middle-aged colleague on Microsoft Teams, then I’ll see you in the pub. It’s fun to share your dating icks, and TikTok makes it easier than ever to do so at scale. But, as last night proved on social media, make sure you’re right before you do it.

A video on TikTok posted by self-proclaimed insult comedian Anthony Gilét giving a presentation of what he perceived as a huge ‘red flag’: the guy he was talking to dared to suggest a pub near his house asking Gilét on a date -you. For more than two minutes, Gilét blasts his dating app match for his behavior. That’s why I think he talks absolute crap.

We’re talking about a first date with a stranger

Gilét begins his rant by saying that “the ONLY thing I won’t accept for a potential date, and neither should you” is when the guy he’s talking to picks a pub that’s in the area where he lives. So many problems with this, so little time. First of all, Gilét is somewhat miffed by the choice of a pub in the first place because “there are hundreds of pubs”. “I’m not saying you have to take me to the top of The Shard, but it doesn’t cost a fortune to be original,” he continues – which I find even stranger. Are you going on a date with this person because you like them and want to get to know them, or because you want to be taken somewhere you find impressive? What are the priorities here?

If I was taking a guy out for a drink and thinking of somewhere to go on our first date, do you know what would probably come to mind? The places I like and know are good. What places do I like and know to be good? Unsurprisingly, they are not too far from my house. Because that’s what happens when you live in a neighborhood – you find cool places and you go there. Why would someone suggest a pub they don’t know as well or an area they know less when they find a place? If, according to TikTok, dating problems include this, there is no hope for any of us.

Rather than suggesting another pub or maybe somewhere near his home, Gilét sends his potential date a big message saying that this choice must mean the guy is inconsiderate because he is making minimal effort and n probably isn’t that interested.

The hypocrisy of it all is outrageous

Gilét says the other reason people choose pubs near them is because they expect to sleep with you after the date and call it “presumptuous.” The lack of self-awareness is staggering, after an entire video of mental gymnastics explaining why someone would choose a pub near their home for a date. Unsurprisingly, the potential date calls Gilét mental – as most would wan to do after receiving such a convoluted message as the one this date received after choosing a pub for a potential pint.

I’m relieved that the majority of social media is calling this video ridiculous. I’ve had great dates near my house, and I’ve had great dates near other guys’ homes. I share my world with you, you share your world with me. It’s called dating. It’s called getting to know yourself. It’s called being an adult and not talking like you belong in an outdated American romantic comedy from 2003.

TikTok is at the center of buzzwords

Lots of terms and words are thrown around in this video, and it reflects the way TikTok talks about dating in general. Gaslighting, immaturity, human decency, cocky – all words filtering around this app in a post-West Elm Caleb world with barely a superficial understanding of what they mean. If this is the dating world I have to navigate, I’m fine with being single. If you’re someone who decides they don’t want to go out with me because I picked a pub near me, and your first instinct is to attack rather than just suggest a place you like best, then a bit of fresh air and a step back is urgently needed.

TikTok has encouraged a virtuous mindset where people believe that because they posted a big video about something, whether it’s dating icks and no-nos or otherwise, they’re right. . Everyone has every right not to want to date someone from a dating app for whatever reason they see fit. If I see the words “politically moderate” on Hinge, I will never contact this man again – for example. Gilét could have felt what he was feeling and ended it on the spot. But he chose to go on a rant about it instead, blasting a guy in a way he feels isn’t everyone’s truth.

Don’t let TikTok tell you what dating is and what you should or shouldn’t do. You have no less emotional maturity to suggest a local pub you like. Even if you fuck on a first date, don’t let the pundits on TikTok make you feel like it’s less than. If you really love someone, location shouldn’t matter. And if you want to learn more about the do’s and don’ts of dating, go on a few dates and see for yourself rather than trusting everything TikTok tells you. You’ll be better off.

Related stories recommended by this writer:

• These stories of girls who get pissed off literally piss me off

• Did you catch The Ick or is it just a phase? Take this quiz to find out

• ‘He jerked off next to me while I was sleeping’: The craziest reasons you caught The Ick

Comments are closed.