KEEPING THE SHAPE OF THE SUN ON KEY WEST DATING

COURTESY PHOTO / ANDREA DE SANTS

COURTESY PHOTO / ANDREA DE SANTS

CONGRATULATIONS SINGLE PEOPLE ON SURVIVING your dating prison during a non-existent pandemic. As you cautiously reappear, the complex game of transitory dating of small islands continues. And that’s a challenge for everyone. Lesbians lament the lack of lesbians. Homosexuals lament the lack of long-term sober applicants. Meanwhile, straight men and women in general lament — although given their market share, there’s a good chance their latest date will soon appear on the Sheriff’s Office website.

Don’t worry, part-time snowbirds and bi-coasters. We have you too. You may have lost a million on that obscenely priced cottage in Old Town, but unless it’s with that cute real estate agent, you’re in the same leaky boat as the rest of us. If you’re not quick enough to get them off the plane or patient enough to import a partner from the North, here are some tips and tricks from Key West Pink Glove spotters and attendees.

Qmitch Jones KEVIN ASSAM / FLORIDA WEEKLY

Qmitch Jones KEVIN ASSAM / FLORIDA WEEKLY

It’s a small world and a small island

The best place to meet singles in Key West for me is at the bar. Chances are they are visiting and leaving on Monday. What is the type of love that interests me. Other than that, I find it’s not the easiest thing to “hang out” in Key West because at the end of the day, no matter what social circle you are in, what hobbies or interests you have, you basically shit where you eat if you are dating another Key West resident. Like the gym? No, because then someone has to choose who keeps the gym when you break up. To work? Absolutely not. Unless the two people are on the same wavelength with reality. Church? No idea. I don’t go to church. I’m basically a lesbian when it comes to relationships and dating. The U-Haul is packed quickly. Find someone who is able to stand on their own and have amazing sex in the post-apocalyptic world.

— Told by Alice, real estate agent

Firefighters also do their shopping

Publix at 9 a.m. on weekdays is a great place to meet eligible singles, especially if you like firefighters. I always feel like I’m shopping at the grocery store. Home Depot comes in second in the hardware department. I’ve written an entire book about dating in Key West and my experiences on dating apps. I’d say sign up for Bumble, do a little or a lot of swiping, and meet up at a local watering hole for specialty cocktails. It’s not a pun. Comedy is always a great place to date because we all know there’s no such thing as a laugh.

— Told by Jennifer Potter, Jeweler

The scarcity of honest, non-cheating singles

If there was a place to meet eligible singles. It’s not the lack of places, but of honest, non-cheating singles. I met a guy at Sloppy Joe’s, found out on lunch day that he couldn’t have dinner because he was only allowed out during work hours as per his probation. It was a first and a last meeting. Another guy I met through friends, I found out was actually seeing at least three other women before I broke up. He called me the week after his wedding to come see me. While it’s impossible to have a relationship without some level of trust, always trust your instincts and check for yourself.

— Told by Christina Crooks, Office Administrator

The friendliest route

As someone who is not part of the dating microwave society, I find myself in uncharted waters when it comes to dating in the 21st century on the island or in the Keys. Being more old fashioned is my idea of ​​dating. I feel that the universe will bring you the right person at the right time. My advice to those who want to put themselves forward to meet new people would be to focus on yourself. Focus on your passions and whatever makes you happy and creative. While doing this, I met a lot of people! You meet and attract like-minded people who have similar interests and if someone sparks something in you, then starting a friendship is always the key and the first step to a healthy dating.

— Told by Kristi Ann, Festival Founder and Professional Mermaid

Burn fewer bridges

After a decade on the island, my advice for meeting other singles is to find weekly events you love – like Martini Mondays at Virgilio’s – attending regularly to establish a presence and friend base. Friends groups in Key West are not very insular which makes for easier networking compared to most places I have lived. Sometimes consistency is key. Weekly events are like having a favorite fishing spot. Maybe you’ll catch your big fish! If you are seriously dating or marrying someone you meet at a local event, I strongly advise you not to burn any bridges so that both individuals can continue to live on the island in peace with nothing but money. happiness and best wishes for each other. Warning: you will meet everywhere, so be indulgent.

— Narrated by Rae Hartwell, Film Production

weird goods

Dating in Key West is tough. The odds are good, but the goods are odd. I usually meet my men in Winn-Dixie. I hang around the checkout and see who uses paper instead of plastic. When they bring their own bags, I know they care about the environment, so I go upstairs and ask them if they would like to see me someday.

— Told by Puddin’ Taine, Hospitality Specialist

Gay socials on gay bars

In general, Key West is a tough place to meet eligible singles. There is a very transient level of people coming in and out. I’ve had some of my best dates with visitors to the island. As a gay man in Key West, I feel like my success rate isn’t as high in gay bars as it is in social venues. I’ve met some of my favorite people on apps or in more social settings. One of these places is the Island House. Every Sunday they have a great pool party and you have the chance to meet gay people from all over the world. I’ve had my best conversations at this pool and I truly believe it’s a one-of-a-kind place. I met this guy who was visiting for about a week. I met him on one of his first days in town. We went on several dates. I met him at Island House and it seemed like an instant connection. It was nice to meet someone who wasn’t trying to connect, but really wanted a real conversation and wanted to know more about me. We went out for dinner that night and then visited a few local bars. We hung out once more before he went back up north. He came to my house and we ate Chinese food and watched a movie together. He ended up staying the night, but nothing happened except hugging us. It was quite nice and refreshing to have someone who cared about you but wasn’t motivated to get into your pants.

— Told by Jordan, hotel employee

Float first. Love second.

At first this is going to sound weird, but start with a small group, say eight to ten people, and then it will self-eliminate. Next time a small group, say five to six. Some of the same people of course. Each output less and less until you have the torque you want. It’s just natural selection with encounters in the Keys. [There was a couple], it was their fifth date or maybe the 10th. They were flying from Key West to the Bahamas. I recorded them. It was the first time they had discovered that they had the same last name and almost the same birthday, within a week. I joked that they might be related. There’s also a lot to be said for being single. You really have to rely on yourself first and foremost. If you can’t do that, you don’t need to train another with you. Float first. Find love second.

— As told by Qmitch Jones, Airline Agent

Some of the names listed have been changed to preserve the leverage of participants’ encounters. ¦

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