Online dating tips and tricks for conversations on dating apps
If you’ve ever used a dating app, you know how hard it can be to have a good conversation. Sometimes you have little in common. Other times, you don’t know what to ask. And other times, still, one or both people are simply mentally exhausted from juggling multiple conversations. It’s no wonder that many cats never arrive in person.
That said, however, there are a few things you can do to make your dating app chat, if not better, at least less painful. And, who knows, it might even lead to a meeting and a potential relationship. So it is definitely worth a try. Front, Megan Luscombe, relationship expert from new dating app Hello Tiger shares her top five tips for sparking better conversations on dating apps.
Ask open-ended, not closed-ended questions
“It means avoiding (asking) questions that can be answered simply with yes or no (or similar). Get rid of standard and typical questions such as “Do you like *insert article*?” or “Did you have a good day?” because both can be answered with one word, allowing the conversation to simply run out.
Avoid asking “why” questions
“Why questions can make people defensive. So, opt instead for questions that start with “Where”, “What”, “How”. Here are a few to get the ball rolling:
- ‘What did you do today ?’
- ‘How about *insert subject*?’
- “Where did you travel in your twenties? »
“Questions like these give a person the opportunity to open up in a relaxed and friendly way, to share their values without feeling pressured or provoked, just based on the phrasing.”
“Sounds simple, doesn’t it? But being yourself can be the scariest and hardest thing (especially at the start of a romantic relationship!). Being yourself ensures that all conversations you have are coming from a place of authenticity, giving you peace of mind that if you connect with someone, it will be authentic.
“Dating apps sometimes seem like the perfect breeding ground for crafting your alter ego, or desired sense of self, but if it’s a real connection you’re looking for, you have to embody it.”
Ask better questions
“Asking deeper, more charged questions allows the person you’re speaking with to show more diverse parts of their personality, allowing you to get to know them better. You’ve already learned to ask open-ended questions, so back that up with deep and open questions, here are some examples:
- ‘What is going on in your world that excites you right now?’
- ‘What do you do for work and what made you interested in this career?’
- ‘Where do you go for your favorite meal and what’s so comforting?’”
Ask only what you would be comfortable answering
“It’s important that you don’t expect anyone to share details that you wouldn’t be comfortable opening up either. Boundaries play a huge role in any relationship and it’s important both to understand and toe that line when meeting someone new.
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