The key to online dating success? Ask questions and get this number fast

Asking lots of questions, being patient and getting your crush’s number as soon as possible are the best tips for online dating success, according to new research from UCD.

According to Associate Professor of Sociology at University College Dublin, Taha Yasseri, dating apps have “great consequences” for our dating habits.

“There’s not a lot of stigma around dating today like there used to be,” he said. Ever since mobile dating apps hit the market in 2012, introducing a widely labeled “gamification” of online dating, love has never been the same.

More than a third of couples in long-term relationships in the US have met online and this is thought to be rising. A particularly active group online are same-sex couples, and research suggests that two-thirds in the United States have met through dating apps.

Tens of millions of people are now matched every day on dating apps around the world, giving many hope of finding love soon. But what behaviors lead to online success?

Professor Yasseri has struck a deal with one of the three biggest online dating companies in the market on the condition that he keep the companies’ identities confidential. Out of two million conversations, he analyzed 19 million messages on the platform between 400,000 men and women.

To find out how to succeed online, Professor Yasseri measured the exchange of phone numbers within the app. He discovered that about 20% of conversations are successful and most numbers are exchanged after just 20 messages.

He said:

In a bar, you wouldn’t give out your number after 20 exchanged sentences, so it’s a very fast interaction.

There aren’t many numbers exchanged after a hundred messages, so to improve the chances of success, it should be exchanged sooner, he said. If you keep chatting after that, it’s unlikely to go anywhere.

Another good indicator is to ask questions. If a woman simply asks a question, there is already a 19% higher chance of success. Only 1% of successful interactions don’t contain a question, so it’s important to get to know the other person.

Having a friend in common also increases your chances of success, and knowing how small Ireland is, that can’t be too difficult, he said.

You are also not alone if you have not received a response to your messages. 50% of all conversations are one-way, which means half of the messages go unanswered.

Research shows people respond to first messages on average after 2.4 days and Prof Yasseri advised people to ‘take your time, be patient and not rush’.

Unsurprisingly to those who have used dating apps, 83% of conversations are initiated by men and this figure has been steadily increasing over time.

“For women, getting a match online is not difficult,” he said. “Almost all the profiles they like, the man has already liked them.” But for men, it’s a “numbers game” where success is unlikely without much appreciation from other profiles.

However, men are still more likely to receive a response as only 42% of initial messages sent by women receive a response.

“I think the way dating apps allow us to reach more diverse potential sexual partners and life partners has significant effects,” he said, adding that it could help Irish people meet people. partners outside of their social circles, as Ireland can be quite closely linked. .

Race relationships have increased in recent years alongside the rise of online dating, he said. “Online dating helps us maintain a higher level of diversity in our gene pool and that’s good for evolution.”

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