The post-pandemic dating trend everyone is considering.
I was what you would call a “quick date”, jumping from man to man, grossly ignoring all feelings and emotions (including mine). I’d say 90 percent of the time, those relationships I had built through constant messaging during the lockdown, ended after the first date.
It was bright; it was fun; it was expensive, but above all it was pure chaos.
In one year, I have had my heart broken twice; I’ve been rejected seven times and ghosted four times.
Emotions were running high 24/7, and I didn’t care.
As I entered the lockdown this year, I realized that I wasn’t a big fan of my old dating habits.
I had no regrets but was slightly disappointed with the way I treated myself and others in certain situations.
Quick dating is fun, entertaining and full of surprises, which makes for BIG stories. But it’s also extremely lonely, tiring and stressful.
Being locked out 2.0, I realized I couldn’t remember anything about the men I was dating. I dated a guy for three months and all I remember about him is that he had a sister (I think). It was like my brain was a memory card that was erased the minute I stopped dating someone and moved on.
After reliving those moments, sitting in my one bedroom apartment, I decided to try “slow dating”.
And by slow dating, I mean I will be dating ONE person at a time and giving them my full attention.
So when I started chatting with a guy on a dating app during this lockdown, I told him about my plan to slow down dating. I explained that I thought we should have at least three dates before one of us decides whether we want this to continue or not.
Listen to The Undone, a show about navigating the “adult” world without GPS, friendship, love, sex, personal politics and … air fryers. The message continues below.
The conversation we have had over the past four months has been slow but extremely pleasant. For the first time in a long time, I am both extremely nervous and excited to go on a first date.
While slow dating can take a heavy toll if things don’t work out, I think being able to remember all the things about this person (including that he actually has an older sister named Sarah) adds so much value to my dating experience. and also my life choices.
So if you don’t hear from me anymore just assume slow dating has brought me up with the love of my life. And if you to do hear me again … let’s pretend it never happened.
To learn more about Emily Vernem, subscribe to her newsletter or follow her on Instagram.
Characteristic image: Supplied.
Want to make your voice heard? Plus, do you have the chance to win $ 100? Take our survey now.