Tinder wants to help you find a date for a wedding. This is good news | Opinion
Have you recently been invited to a post-pandemic wedding? It’s time to get back into the mix. Find beautiful clothes that fit you. Choose an item from the couple’s registry. Send proof of vaccination. But what about a date? Do not worry. Tinder is here for you. The dating app recently announced that it will partner with a wedding planning site to help you find a companion for your college friend’s or favorite cousin’s upcoming nuptials.
âWe know a lot of our members are looking for a Plus One for their upcoming wedding and we’re excited to now give them a way to do just that on Tinder,â Kyle Miller, corporate vice president for innovation, said in a press release.
The idea was met with some skepticism. As one user tweeted, “I just want to know what kind of person is going to invite a stranger to a wedding as their first date.” Very intelligent, frankly. Inviting someone to a wedding says weddings are on your radar screen. You might not want to get married next week or next year, but at a time when fewer people are getting married, this tells people that you have friends and family getting married and maybe you are getting married. ‘someday you will too.
Dating a wedding can spark some very useful conversations – conversations that too many people put off until they’re in a waist-deep relationship. For example, what is your religious background? Would you like to get married in a church or a synagogue? Or on a beach somewhere? When I wrote a book on interfaith marriage, I found that less than half of people talked about the religion in which they wanted to raise their children before getting married. Why not start these conversations early?
OK, I hear you say, this is someone you just met. Do you really want to get that serious? If this is someone who has agreed to attend a wedding with you, he or she will likely find that he or she is signing on for a pretty long date, not just a drunken relationship. The wedding day, from the ceremony to the end of the reception, will provide many opportunities for conversation. Have you ever been married? Are your parents married or divorced? Do you want a big family?
In addition to these discussions – about marriage, family and faith – your date will be able to see you in context. At some weddings, it means he or she will meet your friends. You will be surrounded by people who care about you and your partner will more easily see your qualities. If all these people like you, you must have something to recommend to you. Your date will likely hear old stories about you, so it’s probably best to take some embarrassment in the process.
Attending a wedding with a date means that you will also be surrounded by different generations of people. Maybe your date will see how you interact with kids or grandparents. That too can be quite endearing – or, if these interactions don’t go well, it can be a sign that this person isn’t going to be the best partner to start a family with.
Of course, weddings provide an opportunity for people to watch us make much more mundane but also important decisions. Do we dance well? How much do we drink? What is our idea of ââdressing? Until what time do we stay at the holidays? How much drama do our friends and family bring? These are all useful things that usually take a lot longer to figure out in a typical relationship. So why not get a head start? The next time an invitation arrives, feel free to swipe right.
Naomi Schaefer Riley is a resident fellow of the American Enterprise Institute, a contributor to Deseret News and author of “No way to treat a child: How the foster care system, family courts and racial activists are destroying young lives. “